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Had a rough week? 

I think we can all do with some kindness. I’ve recently been thinking about all the old sayings we still use despite how cringe-y they sound. I decided to come up with a few alternative versions. I didn’t google them, so there may be other alternatives, or there may even be some other people who came up with the same, or similar phrases, but here are some that came from my brain:

Instead of:

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat”

say:

There’s more than one way to skin an avocado

Or

There’s more than one way to wear a hat

Instead of

“Kill two birds with one stone”

say:

Fill two grocery bags with one trip to the store

or

Dill two cucumbers with one recipe of pickling spices

Ok, those ones are a bit clunky. Here’s a better one:

Hit two bullseyes with one dart

Instead of

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”

say:

Don’t throw the table out with the bad watermelon

or

Don’t throw the kitty out with the cat litter

– Okay, yes, cat’s are family too, but they always land on their feet. They’ll be fine. 

Instead of

“It’s colder than a witch’s tit”

say:

It’s colder than an Alaskan baseball catcher’s mitt

Instead of 

Can I pick your brain?

Say

Can I Interview you for my fake podcast?

Or maybe it’s better to not even use a euphemism for this one. Just ask directly for what you want by saying:

Can I bother you for some free advice?

Thanks for reading!

Rebecca H. Lee
 

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